Wednesday, March 14, 2007
8:48 AM
You know, i would rather i be sad alone than to drag you down with me.
Now you know why i told u its better this way?
You can be happier out there, so don bother about me.
I will let my feelings flow, and when theres no hope left, maybe dying would resolve every problem i have.
My heart now, is just so confused, and im sorry to all my friends if i have neglected you or pissed you off, but im just really damn damn sad now. Maybe i should just die, would make some people loads happier, would make me much happier. To my dearest friends, sorry for everything i havnt been able to help or do these days, im just not feeling right...so sorry...i really am.
Wells, sorry
Matt Angel
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Monday, March 12, 2007
5:55 AM
RCIY retreat.... thought i could enjoy it...
Then i saw you, and yea, was reminded of the heartache..
Then, when i found out about your new boy...
I wonder, did you really love me?
All that talk, those words, they mean shit now...
When i saw you in his arms, i thought i would cry, but guess what
I was so beyond tears, i was too sad to cry.
When i think of how we used to be, my heart aches, and its the worst pain i know.
My daily injections, guess what, they are so small compared to the pain you haved caused me.
I remember you, how we used to love,
but now, i see that the love you have is for him now.
I wrote you that note to say goodbye,
Its hard for me but i gotta do it.
I hate you not because i want to, but i have to, or i will never cease crying.
You know, nowadays when i cry, there are no more tears,
and i just, cant seem to let go that easily.
During the session last night, when we were told to think about our lives for a moment,
I cried, not because i pity myself,
but because i am reminded of you, and all that has happened, and i just find it so heart-wrenching...
And no amount of hugs from my dearest sisters, Debra, Neek, Jamie, Alicia, Kristen, Majella, not even Amy, could stop me crying. Why? cos its you.
I really treasured the times we had, but yea, if you do read this, then well, it may be the last time you hear from me.
so well, Goodbye.
Matt Angel
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